What's in a number? Does it look good? Is it popular? Does it have historical significance? Is it lucky? Is it the only one available? What's the psychology behind choosing a number? All great intellectual questions that won't be answered by us. Well, they might but not on purpose.
We will tell you however, who is the most exciting/ticket-punching/money spending-worthy player that wears each number. We will show you numbers 00 - 98. But don't get too overwhelmed as there aren't 100 players on the list but 56 (Nobody currently wears 37-39, 46, 49, 51, 53, 56-76, 78-87, 89-91, 93, 95-97, and 99).
And as an added way to evaluate each player, introducing the:
BIAS = Bros In Awe Scale (1-10)
1 = "Let me know when something cool happens" -- Justin Bieber
10 = "That'll be on SportsCenter Top 10 Bro"
The Bros In Awe Scale (BIAS) is basically how likely each player is to make us stand up, take off my sunglasses and drop my jaw in awe with an amazing highlight, like these two:
We will tell you however, who is the most exciting/ticket-punching/money spending-worthy player that wears each number. We will show you numbers 00 - 98. But don't get too overwhelmed as there aren't 100 players on the list but 56 (Nobody currently wears 37-39, 46, 49, 51, 53, 56-76, 78-87, 89-91, 93, 95-97, and 99).
And as an added way to evaluate each player, introducing the:
BIAS = Bros In Awe Scale (1-10)
1 = "Let me know when something cool happens" -- Justin Bieber
10 = "That'll be on SportsCenter Top 10 Bro"
The Bros In Awe Scale (BIAS) is basically how likely each player is to make us stand up, take off my sunglasses and drop my jaw in awe with an amazing highlight, like these two:
NBA PLAYERS WHO WE WOULD PAY TO SEE
#00 - #98 EDITION
#00 - #98 EDITION
00 || Spencer Hawes |
| 0 || Russell Westbrook |
Possibly sipping on some hot coffee and burning his tongue. There seems to be more players wearing #0 in the league (13 teams) than in recent years when it seemed like "prolonged flash in the pan" Agent Zero was the only one. What is with the low self esteem NBAers, pick a number that doesn’t make you look like a loser. If you want to be a hipster, pick something like 75 which has a nice top shelf for your name (courtesy of Barry Zito) or 47 with both numbers pointing down (looks especially artsy with the Oregon Football uniforms). Don’t let the value of the number be how you decide, but the overall shape and Zen of Phil Jackson. PoGo has the hops and the guts to make me completely lose it with a springboard dunk over anyone in the league.
1 || Derrick Rose |
| 2 || Marcus Morris |
3 || Chris Paul | |
4 || Marcin Gortat |
5 || Kevin Garnett | |
| 6 || LeBron James |
7 || One Knick, Ex-Knick, |
His teammates had much to say about what is now known as a Co-National holiday w/ Canada, Spain & the US: "He's kind of like the Tim Tebow of the team, he's just a good dude. You're with him and everything is just fine, nothing's wrong. I love Jose, he's a good dude." | 8 || José Calderón |
9 || Pablo Prigioni |
10 || Steve Nash |
P.S. also DirecTV Genie, because if she had to be assigned a number, it would be 10.
11 || Markieff Morris |
| 12 || Andrew Bogut |
13 || Tyreke Evans | |
14 || Michael Kidd-Gilchrist |
15 || DeMarcus Cousins | |
16 || Pau Gasol |
17 || Joe Crawford | |
| 18 || Victor Claver |
19 || Beno Udrih
G Bucks
BIAS = 0
Fitting that he doesn't have a Twitter handle
Sorry Beano! Not going to give you a video either. Or a picture. I got beef with this guy. When my NBA 2k12 created PG got drafted to the Kings I was optimistic. I would push T.Evans over to the 2 and be on the court with him and a rookie Cousins. What a great young nucleus to build around right? Wrong. Ended up playing most of the minutes along with Beno, and worst of all, the dude wore the number 19 my player made famous in Brazil. All you had to do was let my character take you out to dinner for the number Beno. Can’t wait for you to get traded in my game.
Fitting that he doesn't have a Twitter handle
Sorry Beano! Not going to give you a video either. Or a picture. I got beef with this guy. When my NBA 2k12 created PG got drafted to the Kings I was optimistic. I would push T.Evans over to the 2 and be on the court with him and a rookie Cousins. What a great young nucleus to build around right? Wrong. Ended up playing most of the minutes along with Beno, and worst of all, the dude wore the number 19 my player made famous in Brazil. All you had to do was let my character take you out to dinner for the number Beno. Can’t wait for you to get traded in my game.
| 20 || Manu Ginobli |
21 || Tim Duncan | |
| 22 || Rudy Gay |
23 || Anthony Davis |
Now here comes the #1 pick Anthony Davis deciding to don the “hallowed” 23. Do you think LeBron pulled him aside during their first meeting on the court and said, “Hey young fella, if I decide I can’t wear 23, then nobody can wear 23. If you don’t switch numbers next year, I’m going to dunk on you so hard, your grandchildren are going to be born and instantly feel ashamed because they are related to you. And it won’t be because they have uni-brows, trust me.”
| 24 || Paul Millsap |
25 || Carter vs Green | |
| 26 || Shannon Brown |
27 || Jordan Hill |
28 || Ian Mahinmi |
29 || Jeff Pendergraph |
| 30 || Stephen Curry |
31 || Cole Aldrich |
| 32 || Blake Griffin |
finally jams it home. One question for Blake about his "acting" career. Why limit yourself to off the court characters? How about next Halloween you pull off a Harry Potter "Griffindor" costume out on the court. Go all out; scar makeup, broken glasses, 11 inch wand of holly and phoenix feathers in your waste band. You could even hire some of your community friends to dress up as Ron and Hermione and sit court side fiddling with their wands (looking at you @alisonbrie and @donaldglover). And Blake, if you need someone to hire for your creative ventures, let me know. Guarantee I can do better than GameFly and Kia.
33 || Marc Gasol |
| 34 || Javale McGee |
35 || Kevin Durant | |
| 35B || KENNETH FARIED |
36 || Omri Casspi |
| 40 || Harrison Barnes |
41 || Dirk Nowitzki | |
| 42 || Kevin Love |
43 || Kris Humphries | |
44 || Richard Jefferson |
45 || Gerald Wallace |
47 || Andrei Kirilenko |
48 || Nazr Mohammed | |
| 50 || Zach Randolph |
52 || James Johnson |
| 54 || Jason Maxiell |
55 || Roy Hibbert | |
88 || Nicolas Batum | |
92 || DeShawn Stevenson |
94 || Evan Fournier |
98 || Jason Collins |